Have you ever experienced first-date jitters? Your heart beats faster. You get butterflies in your stomach. Your palms may feel sweaty, and you might even feel slightly nauseous.
While we tend to think of these sensations as “nerves,” what’s actually happening inside your body is more complex and fascinating. When you feel attracted to someone or anticipate a meaningful social connection, your brain releases neurochemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and adrenaline. These chemicals heighten alertness and excitement, but they also activate the same physiological pathways involved in stress.
In other words, your body can’t always tell the difference between thrill and threat. Understanding why this happens, and how to calm your nervous system before it takes over, can help you show up feeling more grounded, present, and confident.
Why Excitement Can Feel Overwhelming on a First Date
From a biological perspective, first dates are full of uncertainty. Will you connect? Will you be liked? Will the conversation flow? Even positive uncertainty can activate your nervous system.
This response is governed by your autonomic nervous system (ANS), which regulates involuntary functions like heart rate, digestion, breathing, and hormonal release. The ANS has two primary branches:
- The sympathetic nervous system, often referred to as the “fight-or-flight” response
- The parasympathetic nervous system, sometimes called the “rest-and-digest” state
When you’re excited or anxious, your sympathetic nervous system ramps up. Heart rate increases, digestion slows, and stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline circulate through the body. That’s why excitement can feel almost identical to anxiety: racing thoughts, shallow breathing, a fluttery stomach.
While this response is completely normal, staying in a heightened sympathetic state for too long can make it harder to relax, connect, and enjoy the moment.
The Vagus Nerve: Your Built-In Calming Pathway
This is where the vagus nerve comes in. The vagus nerve is the longest cranial nerve in the body and makes up a large portion of the parasympathetic nervous system. It connects the brain to key organs, including the heart, lungs, and digestive tract, playing a central role in regulating emotional and physical calm.
When the vagus nerve is activated, it helps slow the heart rate, support healthy digestion, reduce cortisol levels, ease sensations like nausea and tension, and promote feelings of safety and relaxation.
In moments of heightened excitement, like before a first date, stimulating the vagus nerve can help shift your body out of “fight-or-flight” and back toward balance.
A 5-Minute Nervous System Reset Before Your Date
Calming your nervous system doesn’t require hours of meditation or elaborate rituals. Small, intentional actions can make a meaningful difference, especially when done consistently.
Here’s a simple pre-date routine designed to support vagus nerve activation and help your body settle.
- Pause and Notice What You’re Feeling
Before rushing out the door, take 3–5 minutes to close your eyes and check in with your body. Notice the fluttering in your stomach, the excitement or tightness in your chest, and the pace of your breathing.
Rather than trying to suppress these sensations, simply observe them. Research suggests that mindful awareness can reduce physiological stress by helping the brain reinterpret bodily signals as non-threatening.1
This gentle acknowledgment alone can help lower nervous system reactivity.
- Use Slow, Intentional Breathing
Breathing is one of the most direct ways to communicate with your vagus nerve.
Try this:
- Take a slow breath in through your nose
- Exhale even more slowly through your mouth
- Repeat for three breaths, making each one slightly deeper and slower than the last
Slow exhalations are particularly effective at activating the parasympathetic nervous system, signaling safety to the brain and helping your heart rate settle.
- Support Calm With Non-Invasive Vagus Nerve Stimulation
For an added layer of support, some people choose to incorporate non-invasive vagus nerve stimulation into their routine.
Devices like Truvaga are designed to gently stimulate the vagus nerve through the skin of the neck, helping the nervous system shift toward a calmer, more regulated state. A short, two-minute session can be easily added to a pre-date routine—no needles, medications, or recovery time required.
Beyond relaxation, a consumer study found that 77% of participants reported increased energy and improved concentration with non-invasive vagus nerve stimulation, suggesting benefits that extend beyond calm alone.2 Feeling both relaxed and mentally present can make it easier to engage, listen, and connect.
Why Calm Helps Connection
When your nervous system is regulated, you’re better equipped to read social cues, stay present in conversation, and respond authentically rather than reactively.
Calm doesn’t dull excitement, it creates space for it to feel enjoyable rather than overwhelming. By supporting your vagus nerve, you allow excitement and connection to coexist without tipping into stress.
Final Thoughts
First-date jitters aren’t a sign that something is wrong, they’re a sign that something meaningful matters to you. By understanding how your nervous system responds to excitement and learning how to support it, you can approach new connections feeling steadier, calmer, and more present.
Sometimes, the most powerful way to prepare for connection isn’t rehearsing what to say, it’s helping your body feel safe enough to be yourself.
FAQs About Nervous System Regulation and First-Date Anxiousness
Why do butterflies in my stomach feel so intense?
Butterflies in your stomach are a physical response to nervous system activation. When the sympathetic nervous system is engaged, blood flow is redirected away from digestion and toward muscles and the heart, which can create fluttering, tightness, or mild nausea. The vagus nerve plays a central role in digestive regulation, which is why calming practices that activate it—such as slow breathing or gentle vagus nerve stimulation with devices like Truvaga—can help ease these sensations and restore comfort.
How quickly can vagus nerve stimulation help me feel calmer?
Many people notice a calming effect within minutes, particularly when using slow, intentional breathing with non-invasive vagus nerve stimulation. Tools like Truvaga are designed to gently stimulate the vagus nerve through the skin of the neck, helping signal safety to the brain and encourage a shift toward parasympathetic activity. With consistent use, vagus nerve stimulation may also support longer-term nervous system resilience.
Is it normal to feel anxious even when I’m excited?
Yes, this is very common. Excitement and anxiousness activate similar biological pathways, including increased heart rate and heightened alertness. Because the body experiences both as forms of arousal, it can sometimes interpret positive anticipation as stress. Learning to regulate your nervous system helps your brain reframe these sensations, so excitement feels energizing rather than overwhelming.
Can vagus nerve stimulation be used regularly?
Non-invasive vagus nerve stimulation is designed for regular use and can be safely incorporated into daily routines. Many people use devices like Truvaga as part of their wellness routine to support stress regulation, focus, relaxation, and emotional balance. Over time, regular use may help reinforce healthier nervous system patterns, making it easier to stay grounded and present in both everyday life and meaningful social moments.
Author bio:
Dr. Norianne (Nori) Ingram, PhD
Integrative Physiology and Neuroscience PhD. Electroceuticals & Neuromodulation Expert. Therapeutic Research Leader.
Dr. Norianne (Nori) Ingram is a Medical Science Liaison with electroCore, Inc. She holds a PhD in neurophysiology from UCLA and completed postdoctoral training in computational neuroscience at the University of Washington in Seattle. She has of 20 peer-reviewed publications and has been an invited speaker at international conferences and medical grand rounds. Nori has taught various courses in physiology to pre-med, pre-nurse, and medical students at various institutions and is now dedicated to educating the medical community in electroceuticals and neuromodulation technologies including Vagus Nerve Stimulation. Connect with her on LinkedIn.References:
- Garland, E. L., Gaylord, S. A., & Park, J. (2009). The role of mindfulness in positive reappraisal. Explore: The Journal of Science and Healing, 5(1), 37–44. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2719560/
- Grillot, Julianna M., & Staats, P. S. (2025). An open-label trial of cervical non-invasive vagus nerve stimulation using a proprietary signal for the management of sleep and depressed mood. JSM Anxiety and Depression, 6(1), Article 1029. ISSN 2475-9139.
